Everything to Know About Support: How to Start Helping Your Close Ones

The world isn’t always kind to us. There is and will be pain, suffering, and death. There may come a time when we have to support someone who is dying, or someone who is sick and is waiting for a word of encouragement.

Have you ever wondered how to properly support someone who is depressed, how to comfort a friend who is sad?


There are situations where it’s impossible to do without medication, but fortunately -70% of people are able to cope with difficult situations themselves with the help of their experience and the ability to consciously pay attention to feelings and thoughts.


However, these skills are acquired over the years, but what if you need to support your loved one now? Let’s figure out together how to help a friend, a family member and do no harm in the process.

How to Support a Person in Difficult Times

How to help the person? Experts recommend observing the reactions and words of the person you are talking to find the right way to support them.

Emotional Discharge

To quickly reduce the intensity of the suffering, help the person to express the experience in words and feelings. Draw attention to statements that evoke strong negative emotions and ask them to shout them out as loudly as possible. For maximum relaxation, you can turn on music, learn more about Sportsbook Canada, watch TV, or go to the woods.

There is no need to evaluate the words of the interlocutor, to give them a serious meaning – in such a state, criticality is reduced, thinking becomes narrow-minded. Just be there, don’t interrupt, nod, and if he stops talking, insert supportive phrases.

Creating Security

When the person is under acute stress, make a delicious sweet tea, put a soft warm blanket over him, put a roller under his feet so that the entire foot is in contact with the surface.

Such techniques send signals to the brain about safety and inner stability.

Finding Ways to Return to Normalcy

If the person is emotionally stable, discuss the situation with him/her and help him find ways to overcome it.

Ask him how important these decisions are to him – does he want it, does he like it, or are there other reasons for making drastic changes? In this way, you will help him regain his criticality and look at his life objectively.

Specific Help Works

Offer to walk his dog, pick up his kids from school or daycare, but don’t ask closed-ended questions that require a yes or no answer.

Your friend may be embarrassed and refuse support, although it’s certainly necessary.

For example, say: “I can pick up my daughter from kindergarten today and tomorrow”, “I have a small amount of money, I can lend it to you”.

If the interlocutor isn’t ready to talk about the loss, tries to suppress his feelings, gently ask him to just talk about what happened, in the case of the death of a loved one – talk about him, what he was like. After this, the person will begin to open up.

Find Your Own Supports

Man for himself the best adviser, no one knows him better than he does. So don’t give him advice, but just consider the alternatives.

It’s important to let the grieving, tired, hurt person know that his feelings are normal, he is entitled to them.

Use an effective technique – ask what he would advise a friend who is in a similar situation? The answer to this question will easily lead him to an appropriate solution, because it will make him look at the situation from the outside, rather than through the prism of their not always rational beliefs.


Organize any possible way to keep the person busy: washing floors, filling out questionnaires, taking tests, sewing on buttons, modeling cranes.


These monotonous activities will allow for forgetfulness.

Look at Your Loved One With Different Eyes

If a person is preoccupied with problems in the family, he is likely to feel resentment and anger toward his other half.


Ask him what he is most resentful about. Usually we show strong negative emotions toward those character traits that we prohibit ourselves to experience, considering them unacceptable.


In this way you can turn the person’s attention to his behavior, to think together about what needs are hidden behind his demands.


Maybe he isn’t confident and is waiting for kind words, approval, but is afraid to ask. Thanks to this resentment will be reduced because he will understand the mechanisms by which it works, and unrealized needs he will directly discuss in the family, without resorting to accusations and demands.

Financial Support

Often a person in trouble needs financial support. But accepting and asking for such help is not easy; your friend may be embarrassed to say nothing. Therefore, do not ask if he needs money, but organize a collection and give the funds.

Creating Positive Fantasies About the Future

It helps set new goals and change the way you look at the present and the past. You can say, “Of course you can’t imagine it now, but if you could – what would it be?” The point is that a person will never imagine something that is not in their head, which means that soon the resources for it will be there and a plan to achieve the goal will mature.

Changing of Scenery and Impressions

A person who is in an apathetic, helpless state, rarely notices ways to solve his problems. Go together to a cafe, a movie, a concert, take a walk in the park or around town.


Not superfluous would be a short trip, for example, in the suburbs.


Thanks to a change of scenery, your friend will be distracted from gloomy thoughts and come to his senses faster.

Helping Others

An incredibly effective way to deal with your depressed mood is to support people who are even worse off.


Invite a friend to find someone in your community who needs help and share your kindness and concern with them. A trip to an animal shelter is also a good idea.

When Support Is Vital

There are a number of situations where external support is necessary:

  • Emotional burnout. In an acute condition, a tired person is overcome by strong negativity, which needs to be reduced by talking to him or her about the situation. After that the person is able to think and perceive reality adequately himself. He independently or with your help can “highlight” problem areas, set priorities, make a life plan, a daily regime.
  • Morally support the person in correspondence. If a friend is at a distance, especially if he is alone, it is important to let him know that he is not alone. Let him know that you’re worried, ask him to write when the need arises. Do not call often – in a state of stress the person may not want to communicate. The optimal option would be a voice message or text message.
  • Find out what kind of help your friend needs. Perhaps it will be a walk, a trip to a cafe, a movie, a dance. Ask him or her to keep a diary to keep track of his or her thoughts and feelings, so that he or she understands what makes his or her mood worse. Besides this, it’s useful to give him or her small tasks, inviting them to visit, even if you know that he or she will refuse. The key thing is that the person should understand that he or she has not been forgotten.
  • A loved one has died. Experiencing loss lasts on average a year. However, if the grieving person avoids living through all the stages of grief, the process drags on. The first thing to do is to speak out, to vent the emotions, which can be contradictory: from fear, to despair, to anger at the deceased. Through these actions, the person goes through the stage of denial.


Don’t impose, but rather ask, “Can I help you?” If he gives permission, offer to look for new meanings in life together or to see a psychologist, saying that with the help of a specialist, the difficult period will pass more quickly. Never tell the sufferer that everything will pass, you need to pull yourself together, calm down – this will sound to him like an insult.